Shettles Method - Trying for a Boy or Girl (2024)
What we’ll cover in this post:
First of all, a note on gender vs sex
Often people confuse the terms gender and sex or use them interchangibly.
Gender
Gender refers to how a person feels in their body and how they express their gender to the world. Gender norms can be very influenced by culture as well. What is more masculine in one culture may be considered feminine in another.
Gender identity isn’t usually apparent until a baby becomes a child and can communicate their preferences and ways of being in the world. Do they feel more masculine or more feminine? Maybe they feel they are something beyond the binary, a mix of the two or something completely different? Maybe their gender identity fluctuates, sometimes feeling more masculine or sometimes more feminine (gender fluid). All of these are valid, beautiful expressions of how human beings interact with themselves and their world.
Sex
Sex refers to the anatomy and genitalia that someone is born with, typically a penis or a vagina (but not always!). These characteristics are determined by genetics (xx or xy chromosomes) and environmental factors inside the womb during pregnancy.
Something that many parents don’t know is that sex is also not binary! Some babies are born intersex!
“Intersex is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male. For example, a person might be born appearing to be female on the outside, but having mostly male-typical anatomy on the inside.
Or a person may be born with genitals that seem to be in-between the usual male and female types—for example, a girl may be born with a noticeably large clitoris, or lacking a vaginal opening, or a boy may be born with a notably small penis, or with a scrotum that is divided so that it has formed more like labia. Or a person may be born with mosaic genetics, so that some of her cells have XX chromosomes and some of them have XY.
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Sex and Gender may not be the same
When sex and gender align in a traditional way (penis/male gender identity and vagina/female gender identity) this is known as “cisgender.”
Because sex deals with genitalia and gender deals with the heart, it’s possible your child might not have a sex or gender identity that are the same (i.e. penis/male, vagina/female). They may then identify as transexual or “trans.” This is ok! As parents, we may think we can control and shape a child, but one thing you will learn is that in the end, they are entirely their own person. Our jobs as parents are to love and support the amazing humans they are becoming.
Trying to choose your baby’s sex
While trying to conceive (TTC) naturally, we essentially have no control on whether we conceive a girl or a boy. While some people don’t mind whether they have a boy or girl, others may have a strong preference on baby’s sex. Maybe they already have 2 girls and they really want a boy, or vice versa.
There are a few different methods that couples can try in an attempt to “plan” the sex of their baby. We’re going to talk about the Shettles Method.
What is the Shettles Method?
The Shettles Method came about by a physician named Landrum Shettles in the 1960s. Dr. Shettles spent time studying how sperm, timing of intercourse, positon during sexual intercourse, and the pH of bodily fluids to determine if these factors had any influence on which sperm would reach the egg first.
We’ll touch more on how the Shettles method works, but Dr. Shettles wrote a book that goes into much further detail in regards to using his method. The book is called: “How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby”.
The Shettles Method is very heteronormative
As this method came about in the 1960s, Dr. Shettles predominantly studied heterosexual, cisgendered couples. Therefore, when we’re talking about this method, realize that he wasn’t studying queer couples trying to conceive through alternative methods, or couples where one or both partners identified as gender queer.
How is sex determined during the conception process?
To keep things basic, the sperm that reaches the egg is the deciding factor of baby’s sex.
In more detail…
Every person has a pair of chromosomes. Females have two X chromosomes (XX) and males have an X and a Y chromosome (XY). Every egg a woman produces is genetically coded with an X chromosome. During ejaculation, men produce millions of sperm at once. These sperm can either be genetically coded with an X or a Y chromosome. If a sperm with the X chromosome fertilizes the egg, a female will be conceived (XX). If a sperm with the Y chromosome fertilized the egg, a male will be conceived (XY).
Male vs female sperm
As previously mentioned, Dr. Shettles has written a very successful book on this topic in order to help couples with “infant sex selection”. In the first few editions of this book, he talks about how, when looking at sperm under a microscope, the round-headed, smaller sperm were the male sperm and the larger, oval shaped sperm were the female sperm.
However, by the time the 6th edition of his book was published, a new study had been done that determined that the shape and size of sperm cells do not correlate with male or female chromosomes.
Does the Shettles Method work?
While there is no real evidence to prove that the Shettles Method actually works, it has been reported to be effective at least 75% of the time. “Pat Buie, a registered nurse from Canada, incorporated Shettles' method into her sex selection plan -- described in her book Choose the Sex of Your Baby Naturally -- and claims to have a 95% success rate”.
There many stories from parents talking about how they used the Shettles Method to conceive their desired sex with success. (But again, it’s a more or less 50/50 chance either way!)
All of the evidence regarding the efficacy of the Shettles Method is anecdotal evidence, so if you’re trying to conceive a certain sex, you’ll just have to try it for yourself!
How to try for a boy using the Shettles Method
Alkaline environment
Dr. Shettles says that male sperm tend to prefer a more alkaline environment.
In order to make the vagina a more alkaline environment, vaginal douching prior to intercourse may be helpful. Dr. Shettles recommends using a douche containing two tablespoons of baking soda to one quart of water in order to achieve an alkaline environment. These douches should be used prior to each time you have intercourse in order to be most effective.
Although Dr. Shettles says these douches are harmless to mom and baby, it’s important to keep in mind that the vagina is typically happy with a lower, more acidic, pH. Anything that throws that pH off, including douching and sperm, can affect the pH, which may affect the delicate balance of good bacteria within the vagina. Altering the pH of the vagina can lead to things like yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis.
None of these are fun to do deal with, pregnant or not!! As my midwife would say, the vagina is a self-cleaning oven.
Timing of intercourse during menstrual cycle
Another factor Dr. Shettles studied was regarding the timing of intercourse. While trying to conceive, keeping track of your cycles is very important. Being able to pinpoint ovulation is going to make a big difference in the success of your trying to conceive (TTC) journey. If you’re having trouble tracking your ovulation, you can start by simply tracking the menstruation phase of your menstrual cycle. Once you’ve done that for a bit, watch for other signs and symptoms of ovulation to help determine the best time to have intercourse.
Once you have a good idea about when you are going to ovulate, Dr. Shettles says, in order to increase the chances of conceiving a boy, you should have sex on the day of ovulation and the following two to three days. Sex should be avoided on the days leading up to ovulation if you’re trying to conceive a boy.
Position during intercourse
The environment near the cervix tends to be more alkaline, therefore, the best position to conceive a boy is a position that allows for deep penetration from the rear, like “doggy style”. This position allows sperm to be ejactuated much closer to the cervix than other positions with more shallow penetration.
Timing of orgasm
Because the secretions released during the female/gestational carrier’s orgasm tend to have alkaline properties, and the male sperm prefer an alkaline environment, the female should have an orgasm prior to sperm ejacuation in order to enhance the alkaline environment.
How to try for a girl using the Shettles Method
Acidic environment
Dr. Shettles says that female sperm tend to prefer a more acidic environment. Since the vagina typically has a lower pH, making it more acidic, you may not need to do any “prep work” to the vaginal enviroment prior to sex. If you’re unsure or you really want to heighten your chances of conceiving a girl, Dr. Shettles talks about using an acidic vaginal douche prior to intercourse. This acidic douche is made of two tablespoons of white vinegar to one quart of water. These douches should be used prior to every time you have intercourse in order to be most effective. And again, messing with your vaginal pH is a tricky and potentially dangerous game.
Timing of intercourse during menstrual cycle
For timing purposes, Dr. Shettles recommended having intercourse on the days after menstruation ends up until about three days before ovulation. Sex/insemination should then be avoided two to three days before ovulation.
Position during intercourse
According to Dr. Shettles, couples should remain face-to-face, in a missionary position, and keep penetration shallow in order to increase the chances of conceiving a girl.
Timing of orgasm
Since female sperm tend to prefer a more acidic environment, the timing of the female/gestational carrier’s orgasm can affect this prepared acidic environment. The pH of the secretions that are released during this orgasm are more alkaline on the pH scale. Therefore, the female/gestational carrier’s orgasm should be avoided until after the sperm has entered the reproductive tract in order to avoid changing the pH of the vagina.
The Takeaway
Some couples may have no preference when it comes to the sex of their baby, but other couples have a strong preference. This may be because they already have multiple children of the same sex, they want to carry on a family name, or other personal reasons. While it may be difficult to conceive the sex you desire without the help of science and fertility doctors, it may be interesting to give the Shettles Method a try.
You may be able to conceive your desired sex by manipulating your sex life. Some things you can manipulate, according the the Shettles Method, include:
Altering the pH of the vagina (use caution!)
Timing your intercourse/insemination around ovulation
Having intercourse in certain positions
Ensuring the the ovulating person’s orgasm takes place at a certain time
Let us know how this method works for you!
🤍 The Motherboard Team
