The Ultimate Guide: Can You Have Sex While Pregnant? (2024)
Once you find out you’re pregnant, you start questioning the safety of basically everything you do. This is especially true if you’re pregnant for the first time.
You start researching what not to eat when pregnant, if you can still safely sleep on your back, and if you can still have sex while pregnant.
The good news is: Unless you are told otherwise by your healthcare provider, sex is perfectly safe for the duration of pregnancy. In fact, sex may be good for you while pregnant!
Some people are curious about specific things regarding sex while pregnant that you may not be comfortable talking about with your healthcare provider. We’re going to try to answer all of those nitty gritty (and possibly uncomfortable) questions you may have!
Is it safe to have sex while pregnant?
It is absoutely safe to have sex for the duration of your pregnancy, unless you have been told otherwise by your healthcare provider.
Understanding anatomy
It can be helpful to understand the reproductive anatomy of a woman to help you better understand why sex is perfectly safe during pregnancy. Understanding this anatomy may also be helpful to a weary partner who says things like: “What if I poke the baby?!”
To keep things simple, upon entry into the vaginal canal, before you reach the uterus (where the baby is) there’s a cervix. The cervix is a donut shaped organ that forms a passageway between the vagina and the uterus. When you’re not pregnant, the cervix helps to ensure that “foreign” objects, like tampons, menstrual cups, and bath/pool water don’t end up floating around in your uterus.
While trying to conceive (TTC), the cervix acts as a “door” between the vagina and the uterus for sperm to enter to find an egg. This is why, during your fertile window, the cervix shortens and opens a bit wider. This helps the sperm not have to work as hard to get to their destination.
While pregnant, the cervix continues to help keep things out of the uterus and it also ensures that the baby stays inside of the uterus until labor/birth. This is why, during pregnancy, the cervix elongates and stays closed until labor.
Back to the sex
Now that you have a better understanding of the anatomy and the protective features of the cervix, you’ll have a better understanding of the safety of sex during pregnancy.
The baby is protected in your uterus, by the cervix, so there is no way to cause any harm to the baby from penetrative sex. It’s important to keep in mind, and maybe to remind a weary partner, that there is no way anything penetrative can go further than the vagina.
There may be some other concerns regarding specific pregnancy complications, sex positions, non-penetrative sex, and bleeding. Let’s jump into those topics!
Can sex during pregnancy cause miscarriage?
As a pregnant person, one of the scariest thoughts is losing your baby; this is a totally normal fear. You can’t see the baby and, for the first few months, you can’t feel the baby moving yet and you tend to be waiting on an ultrasound or doppler to hear the baby’s heartbeat. This waiting can be agonizing.
While experiencing a miscarriage is a huge fear during pregnancy, it’s important to remember that a miscarriage occuring from any outside factors is pretty rare. The majority of miscarriages occur due to chromosomal abnormalities or because the fetus is developing abnormally.
We tend to be really good at blaming ourselves for things out of our control. So, it may be natural if you’ve experienced a loss to think: “Did this happen because of the rough sex I had a few nights ago?”
Sex is not going to cause any harm to your unborn baby, including miscarriage. Sometimes, spotting can occur after sex, but we will touch on that a bit later.
Best sex positions during pregnancy
Having sex during pregnany may require you to get a bit creative. Not only are you growing bigger, and probably more uncomfortable, by the day, but you’ll probably also notice some fluctuations in your sex drive.
It’s important to be open and honest with your partner regarding how you’re feeling and what you’re comfortable with; during pregnancy and while you’re not pregnant!
Sometimes, you won’t know a position is uncomfortable until you try it.
First trimester
During the first trimester, you may not be feeling great. The first trimester is when most pregnant folks experience:
Fatigue
Nausea
Vomiting
While feeling yucky, sex may be the last thing on your mind.
If you are interested in sex during the first trimester, the good news is: You’re probably still going to be comfortable in almost any position.
During these first few months, if you see any changes in your belly, it’s more than likely just bloating. Laying on your stomach and moving into different positions shouldn’t be uncomfortable yet.
Second trimester
During the second trimester, you tend to start feeling better from that exhaustion, nausea, and vomiting.
Everyone is different in regards to when your belly will start growing, but you can definitely count on some positions becoming uncomfortable at some point during the second trimester. Laying on your back can sometimes affect blood flow and cause you to feel lightheaded and nauseous. Laying on your stomach may be uncomfortable, too.
So what positions are comfortable for sex during the second trimester?
Any position that feels good
Side lying
Hands and knees
The pregnant partner on top
Missionary (propped with pillows if you can’t lay flat)
Third trimester
During the third trimester, you may be feeling pretty big and uncomfortable; especially toward the end. Maneuvering into positions may get increasingly difficult.
At this point, laying flat on your back may have you feeling like a turtle struggling to flip back to your feet and laying on your stomach just isn’t possible.
Some positions you can try in your third trimester:
Any position that feels good
Side lying (you may be more comfortable with a pillow between your knees)
Hands and knees
The pregnant partner on top
Seated sex
Can you have unprotected sex while pregnant?
The “rules” regarding unprotected sex are fairly the same while pregnant versus not pregnant. If you are in a monogamous relationship and both you and your partner are remaining monogamous, unprotected sex during pregnancy is perfectly fine.
If you are not in a monogamous relationship, or not in a relationship at all, it is best to use protection during sex. The risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) remain whether you are pregnant or not, but any infection can be a bit more dangerous when pregnant.
Are there times when sex should be avoided during pregnancy?
While sex is typically perfectly safe during pregnancy, there are some situations where sex should be avoided.
Some of these circumstances where sex should be avoided incluce:
If you, the pregnant person, do not want to have sex
If sex is painful
If you experience bleeding/spotting during or after sex
If you’ve experienced any bleeding during pregnancy (that has not been evaluated by your healthcare provider)
If you have been told by your healthcare provider that sex should be avoided and/or if you have been put on pelvic rest
*Be sure to ask if non penetrative sex and/or oral sex are a safe option for you
If you’re leaking amniotic fluid/your water has broken
While these are some of the most common reasons why sex should be avoided during pregnany, you should always listen to the advice of your healthcare provider if you are unsure.
When to talk to your doctor
Talking about sex may be a little bit uncomfortable for you, but it’s important to keep in mind that your healthcare provider is a medical professinal. Medical professionals are pretty used to talking about all of the uncomfortable subjects and it’s their job to answer your questions.
If you are unsure whether it is safe for you to have sex, if you have a weary partner that needs some reassurance, or if you’ve experienced pain or bleeding during or after sex, it’s always best to have a conversation with your healthcare provider.
Sometimes, there may be a simple solution like using some lubrication during sex. Other times, there may be a pregnancy complication that requires you to remain on pelvic rest for the duration of your pregnancy.
In this instance, you can always clarify with your healthcare provider if other avenues are a safe option for you and your partner.
If you are unable to have penetrative vaginal sex, but still want to be intimate with your partner, ask your healthcare provider about:
Anal sex
Oral sex
Non-penetrative vaginal intercourse
Pregnancy sex FAQs
While we have talked a lot about anatomy, sex, and pregnancy complications, you may have some specific questions that may be uncomfortable to talk with friends, family, or even your healthcare provider about.
Motherboard is here to try to answer all of those uncomfortable questions to ensure you are able to enjoy sex as much as possible during pregnancy!
We tried to gather some commonly asked questions regarding sex during pregnancy so we could provide the most unbiased and nonjudgemental answers. Whether you are someone who prefers gentle intimate sex or someone who prefers rough kinky sex, it’s important to make sure you are safe!
Is it safe to have orgasms during pregnancy?
Having orgasms during pregnancy is totally safe. After an orgasm, it is not uncommon to experience some mild cramping. This is because orgasms cause the uterus to contract. While you don’t necessarily want to be having uterine contractions early on in pregnancy, these are harmless and should subside within a minute or two.
There are quite a few reasons why you can experience cramps during pregnancy and orgasms are just one of them. As long as the cramps are mild, subside quickly, and are not accompanied by bleeding, orgasms are totally safe!
Can sex make you go into labor?
Yes and no. Will sex make you go into labor during your first or second trimester? No. Can sex help to induce labor if you are nearing the end of your pregnancy? Yes.
Like we just discussed, orgasms can cause uterine contractions. Sometimes, these, typically mild, uterine contractions can help to jump start labor if it were already going to happen soon.
In addition to orgasms being an aid to help jump start labor, semen also contains prostaglandins. Prostaglandins help to ripen, or soften, the cervix, which is necessary for labor.
If you are looking for ways to help non-medically include labor toward the end of your pregnancy, sex is a great place to start!
Keep in mind that having sex anytime your body is not already preparing to go into labor will not cause you to go into premature labor.
What if my nipples/breasts are sore?
For some people, breast/nipple stimulation is a very important part of foreplay. It’s not uncommon to experience some pain/tenderness/sensitivity in your breasts/nipples during pregnancy. This is because your body is busy growing extra glandular tissue to prepare for breastfeeding.
The best thing you can do is try it out during sex and be open with your partner about how it feels. During arousal, the sensitivity/soreness may not cause you to be uncomfortable, but if it does, you may just need to explore other ways to engage in foreplay.
Why do I always get leg cramps/charley horses while having sex?
Those intense leg cramps (sometimes known as charley horses) can occur anytime, pregnant or not. Sometimes during pregnancy these leg cramps tend to happen a lot more. It’s not very clear why these leg cramps occur more during pregnancy, but there are a few theories:
Carrying extra weight
Restricted blood flow in the legs
Dehydration/lack of vitamins/minerals
Pregnancy hormones
Of course, these leg cramps tend to occur when laying down, which means sex is a prime time to experience these awful things.
While they may just be something you have to work through, there may be some things you can do to avoid them:
Avoid laying flat during sex
Stay hydrated
Flex your feet often
Stretch your legs often
Consider taking a calcium, magnesium, and potassium supplement as being deficient in these can cause charley horses and even lots of Braxton Hicks contractions
Can you continue to have rough sex while pregnant?
Typically, it’s totally fine for you to continue having sex just as you did prior to becoming pregnant. You may need to accommodate some positioning and proceed with caution in some areas.
Rough sex, in terms of forceful thrusting from a male partner, may just not feel comfortable during pregnancy due to the sensitivity of the cervix. Not only can it be uncomfortable, but it may also cause a bit of spotting because the cervical tissue is so sensitive.
Spanking is totally fine if that is something that you and your partner enjoy. As long as the pregnant partner’s belly is not involved, spanking is safe.
If you and your partner are into bondage/choking/tieing, you may need to modify these encounters a bit. Anything that can constrict circulation or the pregnant person’s belly should be avoided.
Choking can also cause the pregnant person to temporarily lose their breath, which should be avoided during pregnancy. You’re “breathing for two” after all!
Is oral sex safe during pregnancy?
Giving and receiving oral sex during pregnancy is typically safe, as long as you are in a monogamous relationship. If you are not in a monogamous relationship, you may want to avoid giving oral sex or make sure you are using proper protection.
The risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) exists whether you are pregnant or not, but can be more dangerous to a pregnant person.
Keep in mind that no one should be blowing air into the vagina of a pregnant person. While rare, this could potentially cause an air embolism, which could be fatal to the pregnant person and/or the unborn baby.
Is anal sex safe during pregnancy?
Anal sex is typically just as safe during pregnancy as it is when you’re not pregnant. Anal sex may be different or uncomfortable during pregnancy, especially after the first trimester. Some pregnant folks experience bowel issues, like constipation, during pregnancy and also hemorrhoids are pretty common. Both of these complications may not only make anal sex uncomfortable, but can also cause some anal bleeding after bowel movements and/or anal sex.
Another thing to keep in mind regarding anal sex, pregnant or not, is to be sure nothing is going from anus to vagina. During pregnancy, you are more susceptible to infection and swapping from anus to vagina can definitely introduce some unwanted bacteria into the vagina.
Introducing bacteria can cause chorioamnionitis, where bacteria infect the membranes of the amniotic sac surrounding the baby. This can cause premature labor and complications for you and baby.
As always, proceed with caution and comfort.
Are sex toys safe during pregnancy?
If you used sex toys prior to pregnancy, it is totally fine to continue using them during pregnancy.
The main thing with bringing anything from “outside” into the bedroom is cleanliness. During pregnancy, you are at an increased risk of developing infections. Be sure to sanitize all sex toys before and after you use them.
The Takeaway
When you find out you’re pregnant, it’s pretty common to start wondering what is safe and not safe when it comes to sex.
The short answer is: yes. As long as you are having a healthy, uncomplicated pregnancy, sex is perfectly safe. As your pregnancy starts progressing and your belly grows, you will need to make some accommodations and get creative with your positions to remain comfortable.
There are some complications that may affect your ability to continue having penetrative sex during pregnancy, but this is something that your healthcare provider will discuss with you. If you find yourself in this situation, but you still want to be intimate with your partner, be sure to ask your healthcare provider if other avenues of non-penetrative vaginal intimacy are safe.
Keep the line of communication open between you and your partner and be sure to speak up if something feels painful or uncomfortable. Most importantly, have fun and don’t worry about “poking the baby”!
If you have any concerns about the safety of any activities during pregnancy, always reach out to your healthcare provider.
🤍 The Motherboard Team
